The ten comandments of modern research....

Well the title seems to put light to my blowhard attitude,you could justifiably ask 'who are you to role out commandments'...well,the last time such an act took place,was,on Mount Sinai,where God gave the ten commandments to Moses,so that he could tell them to the Israelite s,Moses told the commandments,but he wasn't God.. So let me reiterate that my role in this act is only of  a scribe...these are God given commandments,you should convince yourself about this fact before reading anything further.
Now the next logical question is when and how did God tell me these commandments?This is a logical question,but useless at this point.Just to tell you that I am in the company of Gods,one of them is 'The God of Complex manifolds'-now do you know what that means?If 'no',then don't bother...I guess the title God should be just good enough.
Getting to the heart of the matter,Here they go...
1)Believe and convince yourself that Research is what you are meant to do,otherwise you are wasting your time and somebody else's money-both are assets which could well have less asinine applications.
2)Learn the key words in your field.It helps in ways more than one.
For example,you can use Google more effectively(unless you think you are the only moron working on your problem!!!).It also helps to switch mathematical conversations into ordinary ones ,for example imagine a group of people discussing 'The invertiblity of the Fourier transform on Hilbert spaces over the field of Complex numbers' and you happen to barge in.Instead of having any knowledge of the Theorem as whole,its just enough to know about the key words in this statement,like,who cares what the Fourier transform is,I know who Fourier is(He is a great mathematician for one)!!!and if you are eloquent enough,you could even shift the focus from the 'Fourier transform ' to 'Fourier 'himself!
3)Remember 'Confusion' rules the world.If you cannot convince,try to confuse.It improves the perplexity of your statements.
By the way,in the past, Mathematics that was conceivable by the common man was considered to be an object of triviality.
4)Learn your topic in such a way that you can enlighten the common man and befuddle the expert.
5)Just because you have the 'researcher' tag...do not assume that people who don't have it are fools.They do research in topics which do not need a tag.Basically be humble and kind to people who do not know how to differentiate and integrate!!!
6)Besides doing purely abstract research,spend time in doing something that might have a more immediate application.It feels good sometimes to know that people actually use what you have found!!!
7)Treat your theorems like 'Chicken Jokes'.You see someone asked 'why did the chicken cross the road?' and lo- behold there was this revolution of jokes!!!Anyways wat I mean to say is that,most of the theorems came into being because of similar questions,in fact even sillier ones like'In how many ways can the chicken cross the road' or rather 'If the chicken takes too long to cross,then, will it still remain a chicken'...and so on. 
8)Do not hesitate to ask trivial questions.
If you analyze,you will realize that most of the theorems are built using simple blocks.Newton says that he could do so much because the sat on the shoulders of giants.In fact as Hardy says in his book 'A mathematicians apology' that the most exemplary proof is the simple proof of the infinitude of primes.
9)Learn to work hard smartly.
10)Remember that the most valuable resource that you have is your time,use it wisely.
So do not waste too much time now,if you haven't already wasted the last 15 minutes...and get back to something more constructive...